On My Way Home

When I look at the moon,
I no longer see the one I don’t have.
I no longer wish that someone is by my side.
When I look at the moon,
I see God.
I see the One who strengthens me.

He calls to me.
On my darkest time.
He calls to me.
To let go.
Let go of my brokenness
Let go of my pain
Let go of everything.

He speaks to my heart.
And tells me
“What have you worked hard for
That I didn’t give?”
He speaks to my heart
And I cried
Because I’m overwhelmed
I cried
God is great.

He calls to me
To find my way back home
To come to Him
And let Him lead my way
As always.

3 February 2017| Friday| 10:01 pm

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4th month

There will be days when you feel like you’re running through dead-ends again, seconds when you think you’re almost behind everyone else, minutes when you somehow lost the passion to finish a wonderful project, hours when you realize you’re so far away to start living your dreams it makes you sad.

There will be chilly nights when you look outside your window, look at the dark sky, and feel terribly lonely. There will be moments when you get to remember the part of your life you place your heart to someone’s hands until he crashed it and dropped it. There will be times when you finally admit to yourself that you fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

But then…

There will also be days when you feel like binge-watching a TV series on the couch while eating your 750 ml worth of ice cream and a bag of Cheetos. You will sit down on your bed and not let yourself be side-tracked by your comparison thoughts and instead focus on your ultimate goals. You will wake up one morning after a refreshing 10-hour of sleep and feel energized to pick up the pieces of that project and start again. You will pursue a hobby that’s going to make you appreciate the present and make your dreams less than far away.

There will be nights when you listen to a current pop song, sing and dance like crazy, and realize why you’re better un-partnered. You will grow up and be wiser in choosing people who you’re going to trust with all your heart. You will look back objectively and know that even in alternate universe, things wouldn’t still work out between you and that person you fell in love.

There’s going to be dull dark moments in the same way that there’s going to be blissful happy moments. And you know what? That is okay. God didn’t promise us Utopia or road which is smoothly traveled. It makes our journeys more fun and interesting.

What’s comforting is knowing that one day you will be given second chances to start your dreams again and redeem yourself against the mistakes you did in the past. You will find a better place than the one you left behind and be surprised to uncover why leaving does you only good in the end. You will meet a guy you like so dearly who’s going to respect you and tell you how much he loves you.

The night is still young and there are so much crazy things to do. The future is just short distance away if we’re willing to be patient and work hard. Because there will be mornings or nights one day when we find something as equal as gem that’s going to make us fall in love, look at the sky then smile, and whisper to ourselves, “We made it.”