You Are Always Ready To Be Found

In your twenty-something years of existing in this world, maybe you come up with this one conclusion: “Life is an endless cycle.”

Life can be amazing for two weeks, or even two months, or in just two seconds, then you blink your eyes for one moment, and everything falls apart. Not at once but in series of order, like a domino you try so hard to arrange only to collapse eventually. The good thing is, yes; there’s going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, or a rainbow after the storm — whatever you want to call it. The bad news is, it’s only temporary because every disastrous feeling that you can discern of is just in the corner, itching for its chance to get on your way again.

There are going to be golden hours in your life that will make you so damn thankful to be alive, to be able to experience success, to know the real meaning of happiness. There are going to be monumental events in your life when you achieve something you work hard for, finally meet your dream guy or girl, make your parents very proud of you, and discover the motivation in your passion. In these days of your life, you can tuck yourself in bed at night and have that tight smile automatically attached to your lips; you can be on your feet the next day as soon as the first melody of your alarm chimes in, and be excited to see another day. 

But it takes only one element of your life to crumble down for you to believe that life turns its back on you.

There are going to be sad situations in your life that will make you feel frustrated, drive you crazy, brew hatred in your chest, and begin to lose hope. There are going to be days when you sit at work and feel empty on the inside, engage in loud arguments with someone you’re in a relationship with that end your relationship together, turn down your friends’ invitations because you’re too sad to hang out with them, and abandon the skills that suit well for you. These are the moments when you’re completely lost and wonder why you are still here, these are the times when you’re barely holding yourself intact, and these are the difficult parts of your life when you become suddenly confused about your purpose. 

See, life is going to be hard for you; maybe even let you convince that it’s unfair. But sooner you will have your redemption too because that is how life works — a big, limitless roller coaster ride.

This is what the years in your twenties are for; to discover who you are and re-discover when something doesn’t fit you, to be wrong and keep trying to be right, to fall in love and grow out of it then search for another one, to allow yourself to cry when you feel defeated but also let yourself smile more, to adrift into scary territory and learn to navigate your way out of it, to realize that life sucks, but you have to give it another shot.

You’re just a lost person, but you’re not the only one, and you’re always ready to be found.

You’re going to be nearly drowned for hundreds of times and can’t seem to swim your way above water, but you have to keep pushing, swim harder with diligence, paddle your path to the safe zone, as long as you still have that breathe you can hold on to.  Life is going to be great, and then it turns bad, but it becomes better again until you get used to it. But one day you’re going to have a thorough understanding and mastery of this sporadically gut-wrenching cycle of life.

As for now, relish the trip in finding yourself. It can be confusing sometimes, but know that you’re the person who’s so sturdy at getting through these hard times. You have survived over two decades, what’s holding you back to believe that you can’t survive more?

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The Queer Diary

How did this whole thing started in the first place? Well I think ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to express myself . Sure I could have picked painting, singing, dancing, playing instruments, crafting, or any of those lovely forms of artistry as a medium for me to channel my thoughts and emotions, but in writing is where my heart belongs. Technically, I had no degree in writing but that doesn't make me less of a writer. I have no idea what the future has in store for me but I've always known deep down in my heart that I want to write. P.S. if you reach this site then please know that I am thankful that you give time for this and that you like to read. Also, no matter what you're going through, believe me when I say things will get better.

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