See, this is what I hate about opening up to somebody. When I’m comfortable and certain that I can trust a guy, I will give him all my heart and my entire trust. I will place them in his hands. I am that kind of person. I am determined to give it all once he has proven to me that he’s worth the risk. But once he closes his hands and destroys them in just a second when it took me days to hand them to him, that’s when I fucking get really crushed and upset.
See, this is why I have a damn trust issue! Like I don’t understand why some people see enjoyment in taking me for granted. Isn’t so hard to fucking understand that I don’t give my trust easily because I guard myself too much? Like I don’t understand why some people would be so willing to work hard to earn my heart and then decide against it once they know that I’ve given it to them. Isn’t it crystal clear that the challenge I dare them to undertake is for them to understand that they should not waste the chance I gave them?
See, this is why humanity is fucked up. This is why I’m always going to fall back to flirting and say no to comitting. This is why I’m better off alone. This is why I want you to leave me the fuck alone.
See, I don’t want you to come over me if you’re just going to end up feeling unsure about me. I am not like your TV! I can always disappoint you once you get to know me. I have been broken before, so many times, and I still carry the damage with me sometimes. No amount of gold seams can repair some cracks in my soul. And if you can’t candle that then get the fuck away from me. Leave me alone.
See, now I’m embarassed for changing my Facebook status to dating only to end up becoming single again after 12 hours. I don’t know how am I going to save my face for that. It’s all your fault and all your stupidity. So if you’re thinking that I will run after you just because you’re confident I’ve handed you myself, you’re fucking wrong. I am not anyone’s goat. That’s one thing you forgot to ask about me. So voila you dickwad. You are the reason why I have a fucking trust issues.