i wanted to write you love songs, thousands of unspoken words i failed to deliver in your presence.
all these feelings i wish to mold into a glorious craft.
but you didn’t deserve them.
no you didn’t.
when you said my voice was the melody you wanted to hear first in the morning.
when you said my eyes were the stars you wanted to see last at night.
you fizzled my glimmer of hope for fairytales and happy endings.
you burned down the bridge i was building all along for both of us.
you destroyed me in ways i couldn’t repair myself.
no amount of apologies can scour the agony you shepherd in my life.
so shoutout to all the acts that aid you to fool me,
i learned to trust my gut.
so shoutout to all the time i felt lonely by your side,
i learned to love myself.
one day i will peel the metal i protected my heart with.
for the person who’ll handle it with caution.
for the person who’ll fix the disarray in my soul.
for the person who’ll hold my hands when i’m scared.
for the person who’ll laugh with me on romantic movie endings and cry with me on tragic movie endings.
for the person who’ll share earphones with me on train rides.
for the person who’ll stay with me at 2 am through sleepy slur conversations about life.
for the person i’ll write songs about.
for the person who’ll not be you.
i might be someone who recognized love and jumped then went home crying with a broken heart.
but one day.
i will be someone who will grow a brave soul and a clever mind then go home celebrating with a light heart.