You Will Rise Up With Courage To Begin Again.

In the tippets corner of your memories lies the image of one person who made you feel as though you’re capable being loved in an incredible way that brings out the shiniest of your well-being. When you shut your eyes, all you could ever see is that sole reason why every living moment is so remarkable and each day that pass-by becomes montage ingrained in your soul. The series of treasured big adventures you spent as an inseparable tandem play in your head like your favorite love song on a warm summer season. Your grin from ear to ear makes you appear like a fool lost in the chaos of love poison.

Until you open your eyes and everything washes away. The attempt to try to make sense the faze that follow makes you question the reality you just awaken. Then your brain tells you the curtains have been called long time ago — he is gone.

In the tippets corner of your emotion stings the searing pain of relieving every single details of his face followed by inevitable river of tears that come rushing down your cheek. When you close your eyes again, all you could ever see is the hero you thought who’s gonna save your days but somehow turned into the villain that dimmed your brightness. All the false hopes he promised you and meaningless words he spoken play in your head like white noise on a dead-cold winter night. Your knees to the ground make you appear as if you’re on the end of your rope and there seems to be no one pulling you back up.

You give it all and you grow way too invested that when the subject of your adoration walks away, he took a part of you that nobody can substitute.

The time they told you to spend mending the wounds just made all the cuts deeper because the saddest truth is, he is still the person you imagine your future with. And you swear you wish you know how to quit him.

Maybe it will take hundreds of sad songs, repeated heartbreaking movie scenes, endless nights in bed wide awake wondering what’s not enough, unsent long hand written notes, attempt to move to a different city and switch jobs, handful of friends who’ve given up helping you to get better, couple of forced relationship trying to find him in them, and daily devotion to God to get over that person.

But sooner or later all these desperation will wither down and you will rise up with courage to open your heart and begin again. 

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The Queer Diary

How did this whole thing started in the first place? Well I think ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to express myself . Sure I could have picked painting, singing, dancing, playing instruments, crafting, or any of those lovely forms of artistry as a medium for me to channel my thoughts and emotions, but in writing is where my heart belongs. Technically, I had no degree in writing but that doesn't make me less of a writer. I have no idea what the future has in store for me but I've always known deep down in my heart that I want to write. P.S. if you reach this site then please know that I am thankful that you give time for this and that you like to read. Also, no matter what you're going through, believe me when I say things will get better.

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