Remember the first time we met? It was like the world brought two strangers together who immediately clicked and became comfortable with each other once the conversation started. We talked about life, religion, and ambitions not considering the question that bugged us at the back of our minds about “Who the heck is this person sitting next to me?” We hit it right off the bat, topic after topic, skipping the old ways of introducing basic information about ourselves.
We exchanged contact details just like any universe-arranged situation. Then we stalked each other out on social media; eager to know every single thing that made out our lives. I decided you were not a psychopath so I agreed to hang out with you. We went on to dinners and see beautiful places all the while pretending they weren’t a date. You showed me the best of you and made huge efforts to bring smile on my lips. No one has ever done those kinds of wonderful gestures to me before so I felt like those were the most magical moments of my life. You didn’t want a relationship and you were just happy with what we had. We argued and fought somehow over tiny or irrelevant issues but we managed to make peace immediately afterwards.
We were in the right path of building whatever relationship we were heading into, until the universe intervened and took back everything it gave us. We were separated by something we could not control.
I would never forget the way you held my hands on the train the way you knew it would be the last. I broke down as soon as the doors closed and the train accelerated forward. That was the last time I saw you. That was the saddest part of my life. I am still crying as I write this.
Months passed by and our distance away from each other slowly made us strangers – again.
I wish you know I still care about you. There are parts of my days when I think about you, how you’re doing, if you’ve completely moved on. I wonder if you look at the sky at night, see the moon, and remember me when I was sizing it by my thumb. I ask myself if you miss me the same way I miss you. I wanted to know if you have ever loved me too.
I don’t understand why the universe would give me something I would eventually lose.
In another lifetime, the stars would align accurately in our favor. We would still go out on our free time and figure things out by now. I would change religion for you and I’d make you so proud. You would meet my mom finally after all these times I said “not yet.” You would have proven to my best friend that you are the right person for me. We would excel on our careers and have dinner at the end of the day to celebrate. You would be more open about your feelings and ask me to be in a relationship.
In another lifetime, the universe would not throw sick humor against us. I would not need to shed some tears and wonder how things could have been. I would no longer miss you and think if you love me.
In another lifetime, we would still be together and I would be the same person with a smile on his lips.