Twenty two

I can still remember strongly the night before I turned 21. I was in my room back home waiting for the midnight to celebrate the moment by myself. I have these foods, snacks, and drinks that I personally loved in front of me. Eleven months later, now I’m here in a different city — eating at a Subway fast-food restaurant on my lunch break exactly one month before I turn 22.

It can get pretty much overwhelming when you just take a step back, pause, and see how far you’ve gotten in life so far. Maybe I’m already on a quarter of my life and I know there’s a lot more that’s going to happen to me, but I think I should start making some good decisions and better choices.Life has crazy ways of unfolding itself for me and just like what I said last year here in my blog — it’s amazing how fast things change. Here’s what transpired in my 21st year on earth:
I was finally out of the school system that I felt I was locked in my entire life. I wanted to do everything at once as soon as received complete freedom, especially the things that I’ve only been fantasizing in the corners of the library. 

Fortunately enough, I was able to do one of my ultimate dreams in life which is to travel. I did fairly enjoy it and it made me realize a lot of great things in my life and what exactly I wanted to become someday, when I think I’m all settled and ready to make some major shift in life. I got to know myself through visiting different places detached from the influence of school.

Going back home in my small town and living there again for quite some time was also one of the highlights of my 21st year. It’s the place that I was born and grew up. It’s true that wherever you go, wherever place life takes you, home will always be where the heart is. My small town is my own version of “a good place to think and read.” 

At 21, I scored a major achievement that I could potentially use as an advantage in life and could potentially pave a good path for my future. I passed the CPA Board exam for the first try and immediately three words are added after my name. I know a lot of people are working very hard to achieve what I’ve achieved and in a way I feel guilty for taking it for granted by way of not appreciating the title that I sweated blood for 5 1/2 years. I might not see the benefit of me becoming CPA at the moment but I believe one day everything will make perfect sense.

Two months after that, I landed my feet on a foreign soil for the very first time. Everything felt extremely exciting at that long 9-hour plane ride. I prayed to God before our plane descended that whatever plans He has for me, I’m 100 % in. Between sadness of leaving home and the magical feeling of looking forward to a new beginning, I was leaning more with the latter.

In order for me to grow and find my place in this world even more, I have to take risk and make big moves. I mean, what else could I lose? I’m young, I have a college degree, and a professional license. If nothing ever works out, I’ll go back home and pick up where I left off. So I chose to live in a big new city, restart, and rebrand myself. I could live a life I was only dreaming of before.

The very beginning of 2016, I got a job. My enthusiasm about it was so enormous that I didn’t pretty much think about long term. Whether or not I made a bad decision, I know for sure that firsts always stay special and leave imprints in our lives. So I learned not to waste all the upcoming firsts and and be sure to always make them extra magical.

I know it will never be an easy journey for me and I’m only in the beginning of the chapter to real life. My heart will be broken for a lot of times, disappointments will keep coming, and bad decisions could destroy me in some ways but what matters the most is that there will always be tomorrow to mend the broken heart, to change course through alternative detours in life, and to correct the mistakes and make everything right again. 

I’m only in the quarter of my life, perhaps even less or even more. Who knows? So I might as well seize the moment of my 22nd year and keep creating endless movie moments. 


Published by

The Queer Diary

How did this whole thing started in the first place? Well I think ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to express myself . Sure I could have picked painting, singing, dancing, playing instruments, crafting, or any of those lovely forms of artistry as a medium for me to channel my thoughts and emotions, but in writing is where my heart belongs. Technically, I had no degree in writing but that doesn't make me less of a writer. I have no idea what the future has in store for me but I've always known deep down in my heart that I want to write. P.S. if you reach this site then please know that I am thankful that you give time for this and that you like to read. Also, no matter what you're going through, believe me when I say things will get better.

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