Number one.

A lot of people don’t know this but I basically owned my whole senior year batch in High School. I won Prom King, I ranked first in the extra-curricular activities, and I also ranked first in the academics which put me in the position as the Class Valedictorian.

So why the hell am I so boastful about this?

Well, this is to remind myself that I can do anything in my life just as long as I put my heart and will my head to concentrate in whatever game I want to play.

I’m never going to lie that college pretty much ruined my strong standing in the universe. In college, I learned to get discouraged, to chicken-out, to give-up, to surrender, to be weak, and put my emotions above anything else. I lost the ability to easily win something, the spirit of being the sole survivor. Few of my dreams have been crashed. College was a fucking mess and it was the part of my life I will never want to revisit again.

On the brighter note, I’m so glad I have been given extra months to redeem all the courage that I lost along the way. I tell myself it’s time to get some new perspective and paint my life with colors. I am a big fan of putting everything else in a game because that way it will be easier for me to always know the end goal, which is to win. Despite all that went against me, I’m still good at providing great strategies and implementing them. Now that I’m starting a fresh new life, the continuous strategy is to never look back. Because if I keep going over through the worst scenarios I’ve gone through, it will impair my chances of prospering and concentrating in all my life’s objectives. The past is dead. I can no longer change a thing about it. So the best remedy is to forget them and pretend they didn’t even happen. The only thing that matters is now and tomorrow. I can only look back on my achievements.

Next thing I need to do is control my emotions and not let it affect all my decisions as much as possible. I have to stop pleasing everyone but those who will feed me and help me reach my goal. This is my mistake in the past. I always consider people without evaluating if they have relevant part in my life. I have to make the tables turn this time around. I have my own life. If anything, I have zero concern with anyone who I can think as someone who won’t matter. I’m a huge fan of Survivor; I can vote people out in my life if they cause me to slow down even for a bit.

Few months from now I will be facing the real world and the best thing that I need to practice more often is picking the right decision. In real world, there is only a yes or a no – there is no middle ground. In choosing correct option, I also need to have courage, the will to be a badass. I have to stop convincing myself that it is always fairytale out there, it’s a tough business and I have to learn to give no bullshit.

As soon as I publish this, I will be a totally different person. I reinvented a persona that only I know about. Right now, I’m adapting a part of mind-control technique where I wipe out my past and come out as a new human being. I’m rubbing my fingers; I’m giving a half-smirk. I am the change I want the world to see. This is going to be exciting.

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The Queer Diary

How did this whole thing started in the first place? Well I think ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to express myself . Sure I could have picked painting, singing, dancing, playing instruments, crafting, or any of those lovely forms of artistry as a medium for me to channel my thoughts and emotions, but in writing is where my heart belongs. Technically, I had no degree in writing but that doesn't make me less of a writer. I have no idea what the future has in store for me but I've always known deep down in my heart that I want to write. P.S. if you reach this site then please know that I am thankful that you give time for this and that you like to read. Also, no matter what you're going through, believe me when I say things will get better.

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