It breaks my heart knowing that I only have 2 solid days left before I get back to Manila. Somehow the feeling is a mixture of excitement and sadness, however, I’m afraid sadness is way much domineering at this very moment.
I had so much fun for the last couple of weeks, and although there were some dull moments in which I certainly felt bored and homesick, I knew I used those to find what activities I was really into. I enjoyed creating video blogs, doing song covers, writing inside my blog, talking to random strangers across the world and celebrating Halloween. Overall, this was one of the best vacations I ever had. Even though it was kind of short, I guess a period of 18 days was already enough for me to reflect. It was enough breathing time for me to think of all the things that I really want to do in life, things that I really need to change for the better, things that I have to let go, things that I need to stop from happening. Basically, all the philosophical things you can probably imagine.
I hope this vacation has helped me grow big time. I really do.
Right in this moment, I’m feeling a bit anxious about what would happen to me this semester. As the usual, I start expecting the worst but at the same time I am praying for the best. On top of my lists, it is my study that somehow gives me worries. Obviously, it is the first reason why I am leaving this small town. But I know at the back of my mind that I will try my best to exhaust my energies just to make sure everything is falling into right places at the end of the day. And, of course, no matter how many times you deny that friends are no big deal when it comes to priority, admit that they are. We can’t live without friends. That is for sure.
I firmly believe, though not super strongly, that life is boring, plain, and gray without crazy friends around. My anxiety when it comes to friendship is something that bothers me once in a while. I never have had any permanent group of friends. Currently, I have friends that I can call as a group but I still worry we might all be disbanded or so I worry I might be ejected at the group like what happens to me all the time without any justifiable reason.
On the side part of the story, my endless worry about me and my roommates is annoyingly still on going. This is actually the first time that I am writing a story about my roommates. So, yeah.
I have two roommates. We, three, live at the same roof. Both of them are over the top religious. The other one is subconsciously mean dog. The other one is lunatic old-fashion. I can bear the old-fashion lunatic because he has some kind of consistency in his attitude and genuinely nice by far. The mean dog, that I kind of don’t like. I just realized finally that we have too many personal differences so I’m not going to talk to him unless I badly need something. I am not rude. I am making that sure. If you try to live with him, you will understand. And if anyone of my roommates read this. Yeah, hi to you.
To end up this, I have to say that there are 48 hours left in my time so I might just try to mediate more and try really hard to be the nicest person I truly am . I know God will help me through everything.