At first, I have also thought that creating a wonderful connection to a total stranger over the internet is definitely cheap. Who would ever risk to expect that whatever relationship they have built across their monitor or computer screen would last forever given that even personal relationship nowadays don’t last so long? I, for one, wouldn’t buy such idea. Aside from its unconventionality, the idea is certainly not surreal. You can’t even touch the person talking next to you! But I still have tried the idea anyway.
We have known each other for four months already, I just realize today. I am first to admit that we may don’t talk to each other regularly, by this I mean every day, but what we have as of now is more than amazing that we manage to make it through four months and still counting. We are not in a relationship, that’s for sure. He made it pretty clear from the very moment we have exchanged our vows of liking each other that he doesn’t like long distance relationship. Which is fine for me, really. Of course I like my first boyfriend to be more real. I mean, someone I can kiss, touch, and date. We like each other, we don’t physically see each other. I guess this is something that I can work on, as of now.
On the other side, it’s a bit tough and challenging. Mostly during the moments when I long for him. I am not going to deny that I am not falling in love to him because frankly, I am slowly trying to make sense the feeling of being infatuated to a person I don’t see personally.
Funny thing though, I am a bit of neurotic. I love doing plans and making them fall into ways that I have planned them to be. If I were in a relationship, I’d be fond of scheduling our dates, how many level of intimacy should we display in public, what’s the best thing to do during our privacies, basically all the weird ways to possibly keep a relationship at best. Unfortunately, these don’t apply to me. The seven hour difference already serves as handicap from the relationship that we have. Plus some unpredictable uncertainties that we may meet along the way. The negativity of our story freaks me out sometimes. But I am willing to face all of these. Or so I am willing to work with my patience.
If we are truly meant for each other, we would still end up together. No matter how many years I have to endure waiting or how many oceans and lands that separate us. Maybe the best thing to do right now is try not to plan and just seize this moment.